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Chapter 1: Jim
Chapter 1: Jim
I can't remember ever feeling this incredibly happy.
Deliriously happy, like I'm weightless on my own feet and could run forever, never getting tired or thirsty or winded, just running for the pure joy of running, on and on. And I'm running through the ship -- my ship -- and I know every curve and corner and Jefferies tube and conduit, every ladder and lift and door and panel, and I run by each of them and know them by name, call them by name, and she answers me, knowing she is mine and I am hers. And there is damage and there are scars and broken places but we both know they will heal, in time. And I'm weightless on my feet, my feet aren't even hitting the decks but are still somehow propelling me along, faster and faster until the corridors flow by in a mingling of colors, growing brighter until everything is white and brilliant and pure joy. And I throw my arms out, my feet still flying, and I yell, shout, scream in absurd happiness, flying through my beautiful bright ship, all the colors merged into one blinding whiteness...
And I think, I want to go to the bridge, where I belong.
And just like that, I'm there in an instant, not flying anymore but just looking out at the bridge from the turbolift, and I can't step out. Suddenly my feet won't move, like they're glued in place, and there's a hazy boundary, like a wall of transparent jelly between me and the bridge that I can't pass through. And the white fades back into separate colors and I can see the movement of red, blue, and gold, can hear the hum and the beeps and the whistles, the flicker of the viewscreen, but I can't pass through, my feet won't move, my arm won't rise, my hand won't reach out through that jelly between me and them. And they're all hazy, all my people, I call them by name but they don't answer me, they don't hear me, and I try to reach out my hand through that jelly but it won't move, my arm won't rise. And no one sees me, no one turns to me, no one knows I'm there, and they're all indistinct, all blurred through that wall of jelly that I can't pass through.
And I think, Does anyone know I'm here?
And he turns, a patch of blue and black, and he sees me, and he comes toward me. And I see him, not blurred anymore, like the rest, but clear. And my feet unglue themselves to move to him, my arm can rise, my hand reaches for him, and he turns to me, his blue and his black, and he sees me, he knows me, he knows I'm there, and he smiles more brightly than my beautiful bright ship, more brightly than anything I've ever seen. And his eyes are laughing, his hand reaches for my face as he laughs, my hand reaches for his waist, and we fit together, knowing he is mine and I am his. And I know there is damage and there are scars and broken places but they will heal, in time. And he is laughing against my shoulder as his hands pull at my hair, and I bury my face in his neck as my hands press against his back.
And he thinks, Welcome home.
And I am happier than I ever remember being in my entire fucking life.